


Stupid

by HarmoniaChimera



Category: Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Dildos, Gen, May Parker's A+ Parenting, Moral Dilemmas, Trans Peter Parker, Worried May Parker (Spider-Man)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-24
Updated: 2018-11-24
Packaged: 2019-08-28 09:33:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,874
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16720827
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HarmoniaChimera/pseuds/HarmoniaChimera
Summary: Prompt: Peter ordering himself an Iron Man dildo and Aunt May accidentally opening the package (it was only addressed to “Parker household”) and having to ask Peter what’s going on.





	Stupid

**Author's Note:**

  * For [mr_starker](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mr_starker/gifts).



> Prompted by @mr_starker & co.

"Peter?" Aunt May knocks on the door. "Can I come in?"

Peter looks up from his homework with a frown. She literally never asks that. "Uhh... Yeah. Yeah, I'm just doing homework."

"Okay, good." May breathes and slides into the room and quickly closes the door in a very conspiratorial manner. Her hands are behind her back, and she's looking at Peter with something like confused concern before she finally takes a deeper breath and sets an open box on his desk.

Peter looks at the dildo he ordered a few days ago and his head goes light with the surge of heat. There's a chill running down his back as blood drains from his face. His mind wraps itself around the conundrum of what is the worst part about this whole situation: how he hasn't talked to May about his sexuality yet, how he's sixteen and shouldn't be ordering stuff like that around anyway which is why he addressed it to the household; how it was supposed to come yesterday when May was at work but clearly something went _very_ wrong, or how the one, _one_ sneaky package he orders to home that gets opened by May also happens to be an _Iron Man_ dildo. Which he ordered. Because... Because he just maybe wanted something like that in his collection. And _maybe_ also because he hasn't been able to stop thinking about Mr. Stark for weeks now. To the point where he might or might not have started having dreams about the Bleeding Edge armor.

He swallows and clears his throat before he inhales and goes, "Oh, that!... I, uh, I completely forgot about it!" He chuckles weakly. "It's, uh... It's a gag gift. For Ned." He shakes his head as if remembering something dumb. "We were just joking around the other day about... Uh..." He feels the blush creeping back up his cheeks. "You know, dumb stuff. Like..." He makes an ostentatious gesture with his hand. "Stark Industries sex toys collection! High-tech toys for your... pleasure..." He shrugs as he slumps over how ridiculous all of this must sound. "So now that his birthday's coming up I thought I'd prank him before giving him the actual gift. It was supposed to be a whole deal, hidden camera and all." Detailed lies are the best lies... right? "Uh... Never mind, it was stupid. I'll return it."

May stares him down with arms crossed. It doesn't seem like she believes a word he said, but then she asks, "And what were you going to do with it after?"

"Uhh... What?" Peter blinks, his mouth hanging open. "What do you mean?"

"After you've prank-gifted this to Ned, what's the plan? Are you expecting him to keep it? Are you going to take it back?"

Peter's mouth goes dry. "No, uh... I guess I was just going to, uh... to return... it."

May gives a disgruntled sigh. "So I imagine that's why you didn't stop to think about how much your 'prank' costs?" She takes the invoice out and puts it in front of Peter, the '$55' merging uncomfortably with his Math homework. It's madly disturbing, if anything. He bites his lip. May is just staring him down at this point and it's the worst feeling ever. "I would hope you'd have saved up for it from your allowance," she adds finally after a long, unsettling pause. "But at this point I can't even be sure of that."

Peter's throat goes dry, too, and squeezes up so hard he can barely stutter out, "I was going to return it..."

"Do you have any idea how difficult it is to return sex toys?"

"...Do you?"

May lets out an exasperated sigh and starts pacing around the room. Peter bites his lip again as he looks at the box. God, that is a big dildo. Just imagining trying to fit it into himself is making him weak in the legs.

"I'm doing my best not to freak out on you right now, Peter," he hears from behind. He turns around in his chair, heart dropping to his stomach. He can't even look her in the eye. May is putting her hands up and gesticulating a little like she's having an internal monologue. Peter starts analyzing the stains on his carpet as he waits for her to come down on him with all the fury and confusion and hurt that she usually lets out whenever something like this happens. And then she does. "You wanna do all this stuff, you wanna go out and help people and save the world, and go to work, and make your own choices and decisions, and you want me to treat you like an adult throughout all that because you say you know what you're doing, but how am I supposed to do that when you then do something like this, and then  _lie to my face_?!" She huffs, then takes a deep breath, then just shakes her head.

And now Peter starts freaking out, too. "Y-You don't... You don't have to worry about the money, May!" he starts quickly before she can go off on him again. "I've been getting money monthly, like, uh, like a salary, from Mr. Stark." As soon as it rolls out of his mouth, he realizes how it sounds. "F-For my... internship."

"Oh, my  _God_." May just plops down on his bed, staring into space with wide eyes. She looks likes she's about to cry. Peter glances to his closet, to the suit peeking out of it, trying to fight back the urge to jump out through the window. Then he glances at the box and he's immediately hot again, but there's a chilly undercurrent to it. His own eyes go wider. God. Oh, God. He's been buying toys for Mr. Stark's money for  _months_ now.

"You don't have a bank account," she states more than asks, unmoving.

"I... No. He's, uh..." The heat is unbearable. "He's been, um, giving me... cash." May closes her eyes with almost visible pain. "But--!"

"How much a month?" she asks, her voice strangled and dark.

"Not much..." he tries to deflect, but she raises her eyes at him. "Just, like... two... two hundred dollars?" May slumps over slightly, putting her face in her hands. "But, May, I don't think... I mean, he knows how hard you work, he's just trying to help... A-And I've been, uh... I've been p-putting wh-whatever I have left into your c-cookie jar, to... to help with the savings..." She doesn't reply. The feeling of panic gets stronger as the familiar flood of spiders burrows into his head. "Look, May," he says, shifting in his seat like a startled horse. "I swear I can--"

"I get it." Her voice is soft, empty, and defeated. Peter stops, his mouth hanging open in shock as she raises her gaze at him. "I get that... he's done a lot for you, and you love the internship, and he's your mentor, and you probably feel like he takes  _care_ of you. And... And especially after, um, after he's paid for your bottom surgeries..." Peter was going to interrupt but that reminder just makes him go limp as his body trembles. He  _wanted_ to think that had nothing to do with it, but... Mr. Stark  _took him_ to those appointments. And then, with Dr. Cheslin being his old friend, they ended up _cooperating_ because Mr. Stark wasn't going to let anything be less than _perfect_ , and there was _tech_ involved, and every time Peter thinks back to how Mr. Stark at some point must've analyzed the scans and pictures of his... Whew. And then figure out how to... He takes a shaky breath, trying to get his thoughts back on track and focus on the matter at hand. Especially since May is staring at him with a piercing gaze. "I mean, I get that," she says wryly as soon as he looks back at her. "I don't really get what you're expecting to be able to do with...  _that_..." She waves her finger somewhere to the general area of the box and Peter gulps. Frankly, now that he's  _seen_  it, neither does he. "But there's clearly more than innocent prank or interest or whatever else you wanted to try and hide behind."

She goes silent, obviously waiting for Peter to say something, react in any way, but he's completely dumbstruck and the only thing he can actually do is stare at his hands wringing in his lap. He can feel this slipping out of control with each second, the chatter of chelicera in his brain getting louder, probably indicating May's patience running thinner. But the only thing he can force out is a weak, "I'm... sorry?"

May sighs, throwing up her hands. "I don't care if you're sorry." She gets up and walks over to the door as Peter barely pulls his head up to tentatively look at her. He was afraid to see anything ranging from anger to dismay, to disappointment, to  _disgust_ , but May only looks so very, very tired. She turns and sighs again as her gaze wanders the room for a minute before setting back on him. "Has he ever touched you?"

"What? No!" Peter hopes to hell it sounds indignant enough to cover the undercurrent of disappointment and longing he can't help but feel whenever he thinks about it.

May acknowledges that with another sigh but, like, a little calmer one. "Look, Peter, I know you're smart, and strong, and... enhanced. But... even with all that, it's still so,  _so_ easy to be taken advantage of."

Peter stares at her, his mouth hanging open. Why does it sound like she's speaking from experience? And God, why does she look so hurt?

"Just..." She nods slightly to herself. "I'm going to trust you on this. I'm  _choosing_ to trust you on this. Because I want us to have a healthy relationship, and I want you to feel comfortable coming to me and telling me about something like this." She points towards the box with her chin. "It's not the fact that you bought a dildo that bothers me, Peter. It's what it implies. And that you wanted to hide it." She takes a deeper, strangled breath. "Peter, with everything that's happened... and with everything that you do now, I just need to know. Okay? I need to know what's going on with you. I mean..." She lets out an almost-whimper as she throws her hands up. "You didn't even tell me you were gay."

Peter looks down and swivels away a little. "That's because I'm not all that sure if I am," he mutters, kicking at the floor. There's a small thump when May steps closer and kisses his head.

"That's okay," she says softly. "You don't have to be sure. I just... Just..." Another exasperated sigh. "Just be careful." She pulls back and gives him another stern look. "And don't do anything stupid."

She leaves, closing the door behind her, and Peter crumps up the invoice and throws it away, taking a long look at the box. Trying to stop himself from doing something stupid was exactly why he bought the thing in the first place.


End file.
